i can do it all by myself

You totally wanna be my friend, huh?

Pre-School

Today was Dax’s first day of preschool. I can hardly believe it!

It’s hard to imagine my little boy is starting his journey of school. We are so proud of the little boy that he is. He is such a sweetheart. He really makes my heart melt when I see that handsome smile. I can not stay mad at that face…he’s definitely going to work the ladies with that trait! He is always coming up with all sorts of crazy things that make us laugh. And his laugh is so contagious. He looked so big and brave walking up to the door without a single hesitation. I know he will make new friends and love learning at his new school.

I’ve been thinking about him all morning wondering how he is doing. I wonder if he is being good and if he is using his manners. I wonder if he is going to tell his teacher when he has to use the bathroom or just twirl around doing his pee-pee dance. I wonder if he’ll talk to the other children and remember what he learned so that he can tell me all about it when he gets home. I wonder if he smiled pretty for the picture his teacher took that will go next to his name in the classroom. I wonder if he’s going to ask the second he gets home when he can go back. I wonder what letters they talked about and if he learned all the other kids names. I wonder if he stayed in his seat and took turns and shared. I wonder if the next time he goes back he’ll remember where his backpack goes and that he needs to move the frog with his name over to the lily pad so his teacher knows he is there.

I really do wonder all those things; it’s just a part of being a mom I guess. But the thing I find myself wondering about the most…

…is if he missed me as much as I missed him. Somehow I doubt that.

Update: A HUGE success!! He loved his first day! He talked all about the books they read, the cupcakes they ate (hooray for someone's birthday the first day of school), playing bean toss and the paint brushes they used with the "little hair" that they pretended were crayons. In true Dax fashion, here he is posing with his first art project.

Smiles

There are times when I try and try to get my kids to hold still, look at the camera and smile at me. Not very often, but every once in awhile.

More times than not I prefer the candid expressions or capturing them in their element where they don't even know I am taking a picture. I think it tells more about their personality and the reality of their little lives than a posed picture.

But, there are definitely times when I would like them to look at me and smile their pretty smile. I like to capture those moments when they are doing something for the first time, or for the first day of school or when they look especially cute that day. Or perhaps a family picture, or sitting on Santa's lap, or after the dentist when you want to see their clean white teeth.

Why is this so hard? Why do I get so frustrated trying to get my kids to look at the camera and smile for these occasions? Is it really that hard? For me, for my boys, it is.

Until I figured out the trick.

Apparently shopping at Old Navy and finding a beanie that is marked down to $1.07 and bringing it home to put on your son when it is the end of July and over 105 degrees outside will get you that award winning smile you've been asking for. Who knew?


There may not be a "story" to this picture that I can tell him about one day. It wasn't a memoriable day. It wasn't the first of anything. Heck, the back drop is boring and he doesn't even match.

But at least one day he will see the smile that he really smiled when he was three.

The smile that makes me smile right back.

Car Wash

New Car Wash open for business. Look for me on the corner this weekend with my signs. I do cars, bikes, scooters, outdoor riding toys, you name it. There's no charge....it just provides me hours of entertainment. These are some of my services.

I start with the tires. Everything looks better with a squeaky clean tire.

Then I move onto the hood. I use a special soap that should actually be used for blowing bubbles, but that's okay. It doesn't hurt the paint.

I always work with precision and dedication. No spot is ever missed. I wax and shine all exteriors. And wash and dry all interiors.

I clean dashboards and steering wheels.When everything is perfect I call for the customer.Here is a happy customer. Satisfaction is guaranteed."Yipes! I forgot a spot!"I'll do whatever it takes to make you feel special in your car even if it means water in your face.
He is my most loyal customer no matter what. Nice doing business with ya! Come again soon!

Pinocchio

Look at this face.

My friend took this picture of Dax a few years ago and it’s absolutely one of my favorites of him. I am so lucky I get to see this face everyday. It just melts my heart. It’s the sweetest, most endearing, loveable face. His eyes are so big and full of life, his cheeks are still as squeezable and kissable to this day. It’s hard to get mad when a little boy looks at you with this face. It really is.

As you can see, the face isn’t the problem.

It’s what has been coming out of the mouth on this little face that is becoming the problem.

Lies. Little white lies.

How did this happen? How did he figure out that he can blame his brother for the broken toy that he threw up into the fan? How did he figure out that he point his skinny little finger at his brother when I ask who got toothpaste all over the bathroom mirror when he is the only one that can reach the toothpaste. How did he figure out that he can yell his brother’s name when I want to know who dumped out the eighty plus piece plastic tool set that I just picked up (and regret everyday that I bought in the first place) when his brother is strapped in his chair at the table eating dinner and he is the only one running around?

And how did he manage to tell me it was Wyatt again in all those instances when I bent down close to his face and looked him in the eyes and said, “Dax, tell me the truth.”

Oh the horror!!

He knows the story of Pinocchio. He knows that lies grow and grow until they are as plain as the long nose on Pinocchio’s face. Obviously the bedtime reading of this story hasn’t helped.

So, what happens next when he masters the art of fibbing and I no longer can see and hear things without actually seeing and hearing them. Or I can no longer use my mother intuition and skills of reasoning to catch him red handed. What happens when he out smarts me and I don’t really know when he is or isn’t telling the truth.

What do I do? Tell me this is just a phase. How do I make it stop?

Because the only thing I can think of for this little face is to wash this little mouth out with soap. Don’t make me do it.

Monsoons

Dax was born in Utah in December. That’s not a good thing. I couldn’t take Dax outside for months after he was born for fear of him catching RSV. Doctor’s orders. The doctor’s also told us it would be best for him to stay inside until April. April!! That was going to be nearly impossible, but we did try the best we could. Dax had a little jaundice when he was born, but laying him next to a window where the sun would stream in was not an option. There was no sun. I didn’t see the poor boys little birdie legs until he was probably six months old because he was always swaddled up in a nice big blanket. And the snow? Oh, how it snowed. It snowed and snowed and snowed. It did not make much fun for me with a newborn. I think it snowed all the way until April that year.

By the time summer finally rolled around, we had a wonderful time playing outside in the grass and going for walks. Utah has wonderful summers. But they always end quickly and sometimes it starts snowing again by Halloween. And of course, that was the case for Dax on his first Halloween and although it didn’t snow, I think I remember it being 40 degrees at least. We had to swap his cute cowboy outfit for a plush dragon that had covered feet, hands and a fleece hood. Still cute, but not the same when your first trick or treating experiencing is cut down to a 10 minute power walk around the church parking lot to trick or treat out of ward member’s trunk and then hurry home as fast as you can. I’m sure he didn’t care, but I did! Those winter months consisted of staying cooped up inside as much as possible and it wasn't fun.

When we moved to AZ the following March there was record breaking heat, record breaking consecutive days over 110 degrees and record breaking days without rain. Plus, I was pregnant with Wyatt, but that’s beside the point.

Dax has lived in some pretty extreme weather. And although both are pretty miserable, the thing I feel bad about the most is that he has literally only experienced rain a handful of times in his life.

I love when it would rain growing up. It didn’t happen often, and perhaps it wasn’t even classified as rain, definitely not Seattle rain, but more showers. But when it did, my mom always put on a movie for us, popped us popcorn over the stove and made hot hot chocolate. I loved it.

Here, the rain isn’t much like that either though. Here, the rains are called monsoons and it is something to be seen. These monsoons usually happen from about early July into September. They come and go as fast as you can blink, dump more rain than imaginably possible and the rain is dried up faster than even more imaginably possible with the loudest thunder and the brightest lightening, and it is still 112 degrees outside. Trees blow over, play houses are knocked down, trash cans are found down the street, parks flood. It’s crazy!

And it’s that time of year.

We’ve had a few monsoons this week. Usually they happen late in the day or in the evening, but the other morning we woke up and it was raining. This never happens. And for once it wasn’t as windy or as much of a trenchale downpour as usual and we were actually able to go outside and play in it.

Dax wanted an umbrella but I couldn’t find one. Why would I own an umbrella in AZ? He insisted on wearing a jacket and hood. I told him he was crazy because it was already 90 degrees at 7:30 in the morning, but that's what he wanted. Wyatt on the other hand ran around in his diaper but I was too embarrassed to post any pictures of him considering we were in the front yard. Okay, maybe there is one. And guess what? They love the rain too!

I love that I finally have pictures of Dax playing in the rain. It only took 3 ½ years, but there you have it! Total bliss.

That is until he jumped in a puddle that was actually a sink hole (another great thing about monsoons and AZ) and got covered in mud and the fun stopped there.

But at least we got some pictures to remember it all.

Weekend Trip

What can you possibly do in CA for 36 hours?

Shop in Cabazon for a few hours on you way into town.

Stay the night with your adorable 89-year-old grandparents that your son admirably calls grandma and grandpa “grape” as opposed to grandma and grandpa “great”.

Eat Pedro’s scrumptious steak and egg breakfast burritos overlooking miles and miles of beautiful ocean.

Shop at Bella Terra where Derek Fisher just so happens to be signing autographs at Upper Deck and the Laker girls are performing.

Disappointed you happen to be in Orange County the very weekend the OC Fair is going on and missing the coveted Swapmeet.

Meet your best friend you’ve had since kindergarten for lunch at one of your favorite Mexican restaurants from high school that still sits nestled in the 5 Point Shopping center.

Drive through the neighborhoods where you grew up reminiscing of the good old days…and in awe of how much has changed.

Stop in at a family friends house to visit and get ready for your very first experience of a Greek wedding.

Drive along Pacific Coast Highway, reminiscing again of your childhood, and soaking in all the sand and sea that you can muster.

Be a guest at the wedding of your husband’s best friend who happens to be one of the most beautiful brides ever.

Tackle Main Street with the other 20,000 people to watch the US Open and shop at HSS.

Spend the evening at the reception at the Waterfront Hilton where your son falls into the fountain outside while waiting for the bride and groom to arrive. Classic.

Decide to ditch out on the steak and Mahi Mahi sit down dinner (that you have been dying for the past few days) in the beautiful reception hall because you have two boys who are about to burst at the seams. Did I mention how beautiful this reception was?

Hop in the car at ten to eight and drive home hand in hand with your hubby while your two little ones sleep in the back exhausted from the busy whirlwind of a weekend.

Man, we have it pretty good.

When I grow up...

I wanna be a cowboy.
And a rodeo star.
I wanna ride around on my horse and tip my hat to all the little ladies.
I’m working real hard on perfecting the sly, mysterious stare those cowboys give in the movies.
I already got down the cowboy strut and do it all the time in my diaper.
I don’t got a mustache yet, but one day I will.
Mom may think I am swearing when I look upset and start speaking crazy talk, but really I’m just trying to say “Yee Haw Cowboy!” and “Let’s Ride!”
I love my (rocking) horse to death---even though it plays "She'll be comin' 'round the mountain". Cowboys are great singers, and so am I.
In my whole 18-months I took to life of a cowboy like a horse takes to oats.
And even though mom may think I put my hat on to run around because it’s fun and I look cute…I really think I’d fit right in to life on the road riding in the sunset.

Boys she's gonna miss me.

Brothers

Brothers. Brothers? Really? Are we sure? Some days I don’t really know.

Look at them? They are so completely different. Wyatt’s hair is verging on white and is bone straight. Dax’s hair is just likes Austin’s. It has curl, it’s coarse and it’s slowly getting shades and shades darker as he gets older. Dax has hazel eyes. Wyatt has blue. They don’t even look like they have the same mama, let alone parents. Dax is so dark and Wyatt is so fair. Dax is skinny and musclely. Wyatt is plumper and heftier (which is not a good thing for Dax when Wyatt figures out he has this advantage over his brother). Dax is right handed, and from what we can tell, Wyatt will probably be left. Wyatt is a people person. He’s social and happy to tell his stories with any stranger. He’ll let you hold him and gives hugs and kisses to anyone. Dax on the other hand reserves hugs and kisses for those special people he knows really well. He’s kinda a loner. Not in a bad way, but in the way that he doesn’t need the company of others to have fun or to be entertained. He’s happy playing all by himself.

In some aspects, they couldn’t be on more different ends of the spectrum.

And yet, in other aspects they are two peas in a pod.

They have the same twinkle in their eye. This adorable, mischievous twinkle that makes my heart melt. They both have a tiny bit of in-toeing, that they’ll most likely grow out of, but it makes them the fastest, swiftest runners, and they look completely the same when they take off across the yard their little legs going a mile a minute. I wish mine could still do that. They make the same expressions. Their “surprised face” is identical with their big eyes and “o” shaped mouth. It’s one of my most favorite expressions they make. They have the same laugh, and when you get them laughing at the same time, you can’t help but laugh at them laughing. They like the same food. I think they secretly communicate at the dinner table and occasionally veto the dinner I’ve made on the same night just so I will make them hot dogs instead. They have the same stubborn, self sufficient, I-can-do-it-myself, attitude. I wonder where they got that?

I love how different they are and I love how similar they are. I love that they are individuals and I love that they are cookie-cutters of one another. I love that they are my boys. I love that I love them.

And I love that they love each other.

Just like brothers should.